Angelica Font's Blog

June 20, 2010

BP spills coffee transcription

Filed under: Uncategorized — angelicafont @ 3:00 pm

Man 1: This is the best plan of action.
Man 1: Don’t worry about it. It’s a small spill on a very large table.
Man 2: Sir, I think we are underestimating just how much coffee was spilled.
Man 1: Yes, that’s a lot of coffee.
Man 3: Well, we better hurry up, because it almost reached my laptop.
Woman: Calm down. Calm down.
Man 2: It’s also going to destroy all the fish.
Woman: Oh, boy. OK. Look at that.
Man 2: My god, it’s encroaching on my map of Louisiana.
Woman: Look, no, no, fish.
Man 1: Map.
Man 1: Wait, wait, I got a brilliant idea.
Woman: OK, Jones, you got to hurry up. I think the public is getting suspicious.
Man 1: All set. Damn, didn’t work.
Man 3: Oh, my god. We are really screwed now.
Man 4: Look, garbage will fall into the coffee cups stopping further spillage.
Woman: Now there is just coffee and garbage.
Man 3: Wait, I got an idea.
Man 3: Damn, I really thought that would work.
Man 2: Well, maybe it doesn’t work right away. Let’s observe it for three hours and then reassess it.
Woman: OK.
Woman: We just wasted three hours.
Man 3: Damn it. That’s everything I got.
Man : God.
Man : The gentlemen from Halliburton are here.
Woman: Send them out.
Man 1: Gentlemen – oh, my god.
You guys are partly responsible for this. You provided the Styrofoam cups knowing they were unstable.
Man HB: Oh, no, no. Don’t put this on us. You know what? Halliburton doesn’t have to listen to this. We are out of here.
All : Oh, god.
Man 1: Stop, now. I’ve got Kevin Costner on the phone. He’ll know what to do for sure.
KC: How big is the spill?
Man 2: Pretty major, Mr. Costner.
KC: Do you have a golf ball?
Man 3: I have a ping-pong ball.
KC: Good, now throw it at the spill.What happened?
All: Nothing.
KC: You guys are F**k.

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